So I’ve got the travel jitters. You know the feeling; little bubbles of joy and nervousness stirring inside your belly making you feel rather uneasy and on edge, maybe even a little bit queasy. Was it that lamb and pumpkin curry I ate last night? Nah, certainly not. That stuff is pure gold. It’s a feeling that no medication can remedy. No soothing words from others can quell.
It’s a natural feeling and reaction to the unknown.
One that only jumping on that plane can settle.
As you probably know, I have big plans for 2014. The thought of what lies ahead of me both freaks me out and makes me want to run laps around the block in childish excitement. With great moments of change, come great moments of apprehension.
For those that know me well, travel is not a new thing for me. I’ve spent a large chunk of my adult life gallivanting around the world for all sorts of reasons. Whether for leisure, study, work or the pure bliss of creating unforgettable and crazy memories with friends. Call me lucky or irresponsible if you wish. I really don’t care. What I have done is worked hard to be able to do this. No free rides in life here. No sense of entitlement. No special connections or status. One thing is for sure – I feel greatly blessed and fortunate in being able to do so.
I simply see myself as a young girl grasping at some pretty wild opportunities. With little other ‘responsibilities’, like a family hanging off me, ‘the other half’, a lifelong career laid our before me, cultural or peer pressures in whatever shape they come (even if they are there, I clearly don’t care about them)… can you begin to understand why? Who could blame me?
I can’t say that if I was in a different situation in life that maybe I would think differently. The truth is, I don’t like entertaining such thoughts. I am who I am. My decisions in life have made me so and led me to where I am now. I’m merely making the most of them.
For some strange reason though, I feel that this time round, things are a little different. Whilst I may not have ‘adult responsibilities’ in the conventional sense, I most certainly feel a sense of responsibility to a greater cause. Heck, to the world even. There’s a certain purpose I’ve attached to this journey. An expectation of sorts. ‘Education’, ‘Experience’ and ‘Endurance’. I like that. I can see how those three ‘E’s’ are going to be recurring themes along the way. So cheesy, I know. I’m just one big pile of cheese balls sometimes.
It’s not all smooth sailing in the land of whimsical dreams, gypsy travels and youthful hope. I’m only human after all. I know I know. People often mistaken me for Wonder Woman on the streets too. Shock horror though, I actually have the same moments of ‘freak out’ that I can only hope I’m not alone in feeling. By nature, I’m a bit of control freak. Query this with any member of my family and they would probably, over-enthusiastically, nod their head in agreement.
So a big piece of this for me is learning to let go.
Let go of the control.
Let go of the fear.
Let go of the past.
Let go of the future.
To simply, let it be.
These thoughts are freeing in a sense. They allow me to not be afraid of what challenges (that no doubt) await me. I have the assurance in knowing that I’m in good hands. This leaves no room for fear. Sure, certain uncomfortable feelings may still arise. Like those of anxiety, loneliness from being away from those I love and I’m sure plenty of moments of indecision over what the heck I’m ‘suppose’ to be doing. But to those moments, I say, ride it out like a wave on the ocean baby.
Moments of transition are always scary. That’s because the unknown is scary. Sadly, a lot of people would rather sit in their state of comfort despite their unhappiness and whatever toxic situation they’ve found themselves in. They would prefer this over the uncertainty of change.
But how often do we look back after taking that leap of faith and see that the step itself was merely just that, a matter of taking that step. On the other side, you find assurance that,
1. You’re still living and breathing (you are if you’re reading this at least!)
2. You didn’t lose an eyeball.
3. You have so much more to gain in life than simply that which is dealt to you in your original hand of playing cards.
On the other side, you can take a breath of fresh air. Let it sink in and acknowledge that you had the balls to take that step and change the ordinary in your life into something extraordinary. That in itself is an achievement and enough for many.
Many people have said to me how envious they are, how brave it is for me to do this, how spontaneous of me and blah blah blah.
What they don’t realise is that this is what I want. I’m simply another person on this planet chasing my dreams and guess what, they probably look quite like Pluto from where you’re standing and worlds apart from what your dreams look like. Change to you could (and probably should) look very different to what it looked like for me. My decision is a ‘calculated’ risk and one I’m well prepared for. It’s taken time and in good time, it came together (and still is!). The final piece is where faith comes into play. A little faith can get you over that line.
To those of you who are strapped to the ball and chains of a mortgage, responsible for nurturing your offspring, have families to attend to or office chairs and cubicles to keep warm, that’s ok too. So long as it’s a conscious choice you’ve made with intention and it’s what you want. Be present in the moment and make what you will of it. None of us should be wishing away our time and days. To those others of you who have landed in quite the sticky and unfortunate situations that we all face at some point in our lives, work with it to the best of your ability. You will get through this. There’s a lesson to be taught and learned in each moment of time.
I believe there’s purpose to be created in each and every situation.
And to this I say…
See you on the other side.
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